Feel like...

  I feel like hugging Ryan recently..

  He looked tired when we were doing our night studies at the school libarary. He had been liked that for this whole week. I'm not pity about his tireness but somehow I feel bad when he looks unhappy or tired. So I try to hug him more. Hope that would help.

  Once a professor talked about what human beings should be doing eaeryday, and that includes hugging seven people a day... I found myself need a hug sometime.. I'm not eager for a girlfriend to hug me or what, somehow it might turn into me hugging her, which doesn't get what I want. Indeed, I'm too tall for them..

  Seeing my friends being streesed and exhausted from works is something really saddening.. Even though I should be worrying about myself, I feel it a duty of mine to embrace them. Same to them, I hope they would come and embrace me whenver I'm down for stresses. This is how I define a true friend is, a person who always encourage you, making you feel better.

 
  I feel like beating Kevin recently, but I just can't. Not even a sorry from him after I scolded him for ignoring my good to him. I understand he is the type of person who sucks when talking about relationship. It's not like he's a sucker but he's not good at handling this kind of situation.. I souldn't be angry for that, should I? Or should I treat him better? Letting him know that I truly care for him so he should aware and be appreciated of what I did. People don't usually ask for return after they help someone. All I want is a "Thank you" after I clean his table and bring his coats back to the dorm, a "Hello" when we meet early in the morning or a "Sorry" whenever I get hurt by him. It jsut that simple........

 
  I thank you Ryan for listening to me, William for helping my work, Oscar for bringing me a joyful day, Leo for giving a feel of a dad, Kevin for giving me his best looks everyday and the rest for giving me so much love... Thank you everyone ! :)

Jelousy

  I.. totally forgot my own duty here.. I got distracted..

  I hate myself whenever I do things half-way, so I told myself that this time, I
 would change. But, I don't...

  I hate it when they're talking, whispering with some fun without letting me know. Why should I care? But why not let me care? It's none of my business, but it IS my business to look after my friend. I'm not trying to do thing that go over the border line. It just that, I hate it when people aren't themselves when lots of people are around them. What mean is that people change for getting accpetance from other people. I wish I could be the person that can make them true to themselve. But the truth is always hurt.. Maybe I souldn't have taken this role...

Xuan Zi, Wang Zi, Hong Zi.....

  "Can I call you 'Hong Zi'?" (My name is Hong Shao Wei) Ryan asked me. I'm surprised. I've never thought of making a person's nickname because I thought it's rude and uneccessary. But then, I came to think of that, "Maybe I should accpet his request for calling me'Hong Zi'?" And so, I was called Hong Zi. But in return of my favour, I call him Xuan Zi. (Ryan's name is Huo Sheng Xuan) Even Kevin couldn't escape the fact that he's called Wang Zi  from now on. Interesting, huh?

  Anyway, I don't hate them. Somehow I think they have got an effect that bring people closer. So, I kinda enjoy by that. But, my friends outside from school, don't you ever call me 'Hong Zi'. I feel embarrass by that. -__-''

  We three are always together.. Or maybe not. It's because of Wang Zi..

  I don't know if he really cares about his friend. Indeed he's a good person but a person lack of sensation, who can't think much. Actually, people don't have to think that much, but when it comes to relationship, you gotta be smart. Because of him, I felt myself as if I'm an extra exist when we three are together. Sometimes, I wait the two of them after I had finished my dinner. To Wang Zi, he waits only Xuan Zi.. That's what upset me. It really hurts and I really hate that! Just how bias he could be? What gets my nerves is that he never knew I got hurt by his actions. Wang Zi always walk with Xuan Zi. And if Xuan Zi disappear, he would ask where does he go? But to me, he never ask.. Ok, maybe I'm not his friend.. It just me considering him as my friend... What a fool I am...

  Somehow I come to realize that if Xuan Zi is an active exist, then I might be a silent exist. And so, my job is when they are tired hanging outside wih friends, telling jokes to make people laugh, laughing at something that isn't that funny, I shall become their place of resting... I give them a silent, personal space. I also gift them a place where the only three of us could enter. It shall be a place where they can be true to themselve and relief from all stresses they got outside.

  When I finally clearance when duty of being one of them, I feel much better...


  Wang Zi, Xuan Zi, saranghae~

I'm so excited and happy now ^___^

  First, I finally moved into the school dorm. Everything was a bit old but it was really comfortable to live. I brough only 3 sets of clothes as I thought I was there to study so I didn't spend so much time on my choices of clothes. I was soon regretted for not bring more fabulous clothes as I saw Shao En's roommate had so many things, including several shoes and clothes in many colours. I envious him. And so I wrote down the things I have got to bring to my room when I get home on Thursday.
 
  Two people share the room with me. One guy from Korean, same class with me, greeted me as soon he got into the room and I thought he is such gentle guy. His name is Jian Xiong, or Joseph Lee. His image soon destroyed after we were in our classroom the next morning. The meaning by' image destroyed' because he isn't the first guy I met yesterday, he turned into a big talker and continued to talk talk talk. Well, I don't hate it. Somehow I think he is kinda cute, haha. He enjoys playing around with his friends. I specially remenbered that he kept asking for 'bobo'(kiss) from his friends. Haha, that was so funny because no one gave him a damn. We didn't talk a lot since then. He and I are like different magnetic fields. I'm the silent guy in front of everyone. He's the opposite of it. Guess he might thought I'm difficult to get along with?

  Another guy is a Taiwanese. He only talks a little. But he seems to be close with many people, even Jian Xiong. Hmn.. I have never seen a guy sleeping with another guy, hugging each other and mur mur somethings unimportant. Well, this guy did these with Jian Xiong. His name is Zi Hao, a junior3 student. I don't know much about him but after day by day, I find him actually a really nice guy. Maybe I was blinded by my first image of him. Something to clarify, Zi Hao and Jian Xiong aren't gay, they're just good friend. Hope I didn't give out the wrong information of these two new guys I met.

  One of Shao En's roommate is my classmate too! A very handsome guy from Indonesia. He's a half Taiwanese and a half Indonesian. People said children born out to be pretty if the baby's blood is mixed. I guess they are right. I'm kinda envious of his gorgeous look. He's a very honest and gentle guy. He was the first person I met in the school dorm. I have no worries for Shao En whenever he's around. His name is Jia Wang. Our form teacher called him 'Prince Oil' because his father sells oil, indirectly saying that he's damn rich! Wow! It's cool to have a classmate like him. I think he's really relyable. Not only me but every teachers like him. It is fun to see how everyone make fun of his wealthy family background by saying '有錢了不起!'to him. Haha.

  My new school rocks.. Everyone in the school are close. There's no border between people. It's so free and happy to live with them everyday. I felt like I have finally made a right decision after I was officially become one of this big family.
 
  Just to express how much I love this school!



  I returned home after sister Xiu Qing's final new year party. I was tired but then enjoyed being there. I got some new ang pow though the values of it were so small, I appreciate their wishes to me. Wish all of them a happy new year. The climax of this whole event was the rising of Kong Ming Latern. Each of us wrote our wishes on the latern and then, gathered with everyone's wishes, rised it up by using the fire. The latern was made softly and lightly so it was really easy to let it float by just making a small flame under and inside the latern itself. The hot air brough our hopes highly up into the sky and faded slowly into the beautiful night with the guide of the big round moon.



  I'm so happy to have my friends with me.. Our love to each other shall exist eternally with our spirits. My friend, saranghae~!(I love you~) ^__________________^ ~

Happy Lunar New Year :D

(All photoes were taken by H/P)

First of all, happy new year~!! ^____^


Hope bad luck will be gone and good luck be coming in this whole new year! Wish everyone a happy and lucky year!!!


Happy new year to my beloved parents, brothers, friends in Singapore, friends in Malaysia, friends in Taiwan and friends in net!


Special congrats to my idol Yunho hyung and his fellow members of TVXQ. Good luck to SHINee's everyone and SNSD's noona!


Finally, thanks for all the bad lucks that had been annoying for quite a while.. I appreciate all bad things that happened on me, because of that, I learnt my weaknesses and mistakes!



Going to be in my new school after 7 days.. I'm ready! As I promised to myself, I will work harder this year!


Some photoes taken at the restaurant yesterday with my family...

Well then, enjoy your new year holidays~! ^__^!

I'm a fortunate kid after all..

After reading so many scripes about TVXQ's hardship and difficult life, I came to realized that I had too many things to apologize to as well as the things I should appreciate to..


I'm not in a good mood now, probably angrying, because of my childishness and foolishness.. I always complain for lots of things.. Like recently I had been very unlucky, I said myself wasn't fortunate at all.. I thought people couldn't understand my situation, but actually they did all the time. My parents had predicted my results would be bad after leaving the two of us in Singapore alone. At first I thought they just didn't know how I care for my exam. But now, when I think back, my so-called'hard work' was nothing but a shit.. People always said we're lucky to be born. Come to think of it, my brother and I are indeed very lucky kids. My parents never starve us. They did all they can to let us study in Singapore, knowing the facts that it would be a great cost, they insisted to. Just how many kids could have parents like I had in my life? I laugh to myslef...


YooChun, Yunho, JaeJoong.. After knowing their story behind the scences.. I thought,' How could I even had the thought of being difficult is all so usual and seems nothing much to celebrities? I thought they should have prepared and get used to the hardship they met. Shame on me.. I'm all so selfish...'


Knowing the facts that I am so much lucky than lots of people, I think I should put in more affords on my studies.. Maybe it's time not to enjoy those lovely and sweet video clips made for wonderful fantasy. I learnt my lesson.


Humble is all I need now.. I shall stop calling those people working hard for life The poor and find out the many good things from them and learn from what I could see, hear and feel. I have been living up myself as the top of all human races, though I don't make it too obvious, but I SHALL wake up! I have so much to learn..


I still have a long way to go.. My friends, if you're reading this, let's work hard together! I may always depend on you guys.. But at the same time, if you guys need me, I will always give my 100% power to help you too.


Love those who love me~ x)

I'm a fortunate kid? Hell no...

A lot of bad things happened to my family and I recently. I got myself wounded during the trip to Singapore. My brother and I were trapped at the middle of two country for some reason. Though we were finally back to Malaysia saftly. However, with totally exausted mind and body, Shao En finally got sick yesterday. The trip back to Singapore was like a nightmare to me.. To be honest, I was really scared, but my brother was with me so I kept telling myself not to give up or just be scared of these little things.


And I thought everything has ended, but it isn't. My family is constantly losing some little amount of money. Usually it isn't something so important. But considering the continuning loses, we found it was something we must really aware of. Mom looks really scary (Seems annoying to me) these day. We went to my new school this morning and spent 20k for my school fees and some other charges.. 20k.. How scary.. I just couldn't look at my mom, I felt as if I did something wrong to her. I got to work harder, harder and harder..


Yesterday, I walked to Tesco because I need to print my passort photoes. It took me 4 hours. Not a big deal? Yeah.. Only if I wasn't told to go to the wrong way after waiting for a stupid bus for half and an hour. After spending so much time, I finally got back home. During my way home, I thought I could have got robbed or killed by some Malay bikers or some Chinese robbers since I had been extremely unlucky these day... Who knows? Haha..


Somehow, when I was resting on my bed with my eyes closed yesterday. I thought, 'I'm back.. I got my wound cured even though Shao En got sick, I sucessfully brough him back to mom anyway..'


I don't know.. Whenever these bad things happened on me, I suppose to get angry and blame for nothing, but at the end, I ended up with no hatred in mind. I just refused to think and act that way.. I told myself to stand up and fight. I can't afford to lose. Anger means nothing and work nothing on my unfortunate life. And so, I clam myself and stand up again.


People around always say I'm a fortunate kid. My dad is rich(?) and my mom is kind(?). Hmpt.. They knew nothing. I hate myself being born differently. If I was born poor, I would have got lots of 'A' because I have NO PSP and COMPUTER in my life. Things get confused when people start asking me to thank for my fortuante life, but to me, how? They don't understand...


Hope everything would get better.. Cheers for myself!