I hate no one..

  Hah, humans are funny creature, aren't they? They change their attitude towards people alwaysly.

  I hate no one now. Funny enough? Just as nothing had happened, I stand once again..!

The truth befind those so-called 'friends'

  They backstab you. They understimate you. They black mouth behind you. Saying your gift sucks. Telling people you're a sucker. Don't give a damn to you. No greets, thankful or apologies. A selfish person who turn back to you. A terrible person who deeply hurts you. A person who is cruel to me.. A person who deserves a thousand death and not worth forgiveness... I hate you.. Whatever I've done, is not what you think.

  It's not the way you think that I like you. I like you in some way that only I used to be. I don't want you to dislike me, so I'd hold back. I never fall in love with you, you had been thinking too much. It's just love from a friend, that's it. You are seriously sick.. You are incredible to have friends because for a person like you deserve nothing..

  Curse you.. Hate you.. But what else can I do? I'm all alone and powerless... Man.....


  This is disgusting.. People are granted.. This is sick, people are selfish after all........

  I love only myself and those who loves me...... For him, he's not my friend anymore, I shall abandon him and let him does whatever he likes. After all, it's his bussiness. I don't care if he needs my help or others help. I shall tell my friends to stay away from him before they get hurt like me...............

Feel like...

  I feel like hugging Ryan recently..

  He looked tired when we were doing our night studies at the school libarary. He had been liked that for this whole week. I'm not pity about his tireness but somehow I feel bad when he looks unhappy or tired. So I try to hug him more. Hope that would help.

  Once a professor talked about what human beings should be doing eaeryday, and that includes hugging seven people a day... I found myself need a hug sometime.. I'm not eager for a girlfriend to hug me or what, somehow it might turn into me hugging her, which doesn't get what I want. Indeed, I'm too tall for them..

  Seeing my friends being streesed and exhausted from works is something really saddening.. Even though I should be worrying about myself, I feel it a duty of mine to embrace them. Same to them, I hope they would come and embrace me whenver I'm down for stresses. This is how I define a true friend is, a person who always encourage you, making you feel better.

 
  I feel like beating Kevin recently, but I just can't. Not even a sorry from him after I scolded him for ignoring my good to him. I understand he is the type of person who sucks when talking about relationship. It's not like he's a sucker but he's not good at handling this kind of situation.. I souldn't be angry for that, should I? Or should I treat him better? Letting him know that I truly care for him so he should aware and be appreciated of what I did. People don't usually ask for return after they help someone. All I want is a "Thank you" after I clean his table and bring his coats back to the dorm, a "Hello" when we meet early in the morning or a "Sorry" whenever I get hurt by him. It jsut that simple........

 
  I thank you Ryan for listening to me, William for helping my work, Oscar for bringing me a joyful day, Leo for giving a feel of a dad, Kevin for giving me his best looks everyday and the rest for giving me so much love... Thank you everyone ! :)

Jelousy

  I.. totally forgot my own duty here.. I got distracted..

  I hate myself whenever I do things half-way, so I told myself that this time, I
 would change. But, I don't...

  I hate it when they're talking, whispering with some fun without letting me know. Why should I care? But why not let me care? It's none of my business, but it IS my business to look after my friend. I'm not trying to do thing that go over the border line. It just that, I hate it when people aren't themselves when lots of people are around them. What mean is that people change for getting accpetance from other people. I wish I could be the person that can make them true to themselve. But the truth is always hurt.. Maybe I souldn't have taken this role...

Xuan Zi, Wang Zi, Hong Zi.....

  "Can I call you 'Hong Zi'?" (My name is Hong Shao Wei) Ryan asked me. I'm surprised. I've never thought of making a person's nickname because I thought it's rude and uneccessary. But then, I came to think of that, "Maybe I should accpet his request for calling me'Hong Zi'?" And so, I was called Hong Zi. But in return of my favour, I call him Xuan Zi. (Ryan's name is Huo Sheng Xuan) Even Kevin couldn't escape the fact that he's called Wang Zi  from now on. Interesting, huh?

  Anyway, I don't hate them. Somehow I think they have got an effect that bring people closer. So, I kinda enjoy by that. But, my friends outside from school, don't you ever call me 'Hong Zi'. I feel embarrass by that. -__-''

  We three are always together.. Or maybe not. It's because of Wang Zi..

  I don't know if he really cares about his friend. Indeed he's a good person but a person lack of sensation, who can't think much. Actually, people don't have to think that much, but when it comes to relationship, you gotta be smart. Because of him, I felt myself as if I'm an extra exist when we three are together. Sometimes, I wait the two of them after I had finished my dinner. To Wang Zi, he waits only Xuan Zi.. That's what upset me. It really hurts and I really hate that! Just how bias he could be? What gets my nerves is that he never knew I got hurt by his actions. Wang Zi always walk with Xuan Zi. And if Xuan Zi disappear, he would ask where does he go? But to me, he never ask.. Ok, maybe I'm not his friend.. It just me considering him as my friend... What a fool I am...

  Somehow I come to realize that if Xuan Zi is an active exist, then I might be a silent exist. And so, my job is when they are tired hanging outside wih friends, telling jokes to make people laugh, laughing at something that isn't that funny, I shall become their place of resting... I give them a silent, personal space. I also gift them a place where the only three of us could enter. It shall be a place where they can be true to themselve and relief from all stresses they got outside.

  When I finally clearance when duty of being one of them, I feel much better...


  Wang Zi, Xuan Zi, saranghae~